I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize