HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
