it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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