You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
