On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
