is your mom at the bar?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
