It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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