I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
People in love make me want to vomit
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
