all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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