wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
