when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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