I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
