I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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