Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
