he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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