i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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