Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
