dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
