pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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