Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
