Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize