I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
