you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
