You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize