I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
