I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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