did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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