I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
