There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
