things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found your dick twin last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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