at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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