ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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