After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
