mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
