Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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