Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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