he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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