I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
