u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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