Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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