i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
