i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just want nice things and good sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
