it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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