I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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