you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
