I'm really into asian looking animals
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
