in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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