So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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