Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
