Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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