I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize