the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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