sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
