the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The best revenge is premature balding
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
