normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He shit in the fireplace
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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