Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
