just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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