I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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