he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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