NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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