hell yes lets make some ravioli
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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