On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
